"You always seem to land on your feet"

I remember shortly after graduation going back to the high school and visiting my art teacher. The art room had been the only room of the high school I ever felt confident in, and frankly the only class I tried to do more than "Pass to get the heck out". Probably something that is evident in the lack of grammar and spelling skills in my blog but hey, 6 years later I am working on it. I went back with an engagement ring and a smile. Proud to show off my diamond ring and hope for adventure. After gushing about my plans, Fiance and upcoming wedding I must have admitted being a little afraid (The exact conversation I can't recall). Something that has always stuck with me though is what my beloved Miss Fisher said to me.... "You always seem to land on your feet".

Indeed this must be true still today. Even at that point, only a year after graduation, it was ringing true. I had plans to join the Army and get the heck out of dodge my senior year. Only after not applying to college, forming a plan B and sitting around for a summer waiting on paperwork did I find out that my medical records would work against me. So I enrolled in college, started dating Nate and planted myself in my parents house. Some might say I failed, I'd say I found my feet. It's been a like this since becoming an adult. A plan comes, it changes, I figure out how to deal with it and I "Find my Feet". 5 years of marriage, 2 children and 2 deployments sure have helped me figure out that those "feet".. Those are actually God's plan. That trust I have in the fact that I will always find them, That is faith.

Tonight I was thinking about our move. There is a lot that goes into a move in general, but one that takes you across an ocean... Well there is slightly more planning. For instance with there being 2 shipments I have to decide what I can fit in a 3x3x3 box that I would like immediately (Shipment 1) and then everything else (Shipment 2). There are things the movers wont touch, and things I will be holding my breathe while they pack..... There is making sure I keep enough out to get me through a month in Ohio, but not too much to fly with. If housing isn't available I have to find an apartment, and this is being done online. I'm sure you can picture some of the stress at this point. It made me think about my move to Kansas though. Being 19 and never living with anyone that wasn't family. Starting out with nothing and moving in with a boy (gasp!). There was the thrill of independence and the fear of the 12 hours between my mom in I if I needed her. I'm not even a little ashamed to admit I bawled the whole entire drive that first time. Of course I knew Nate would be part of a deployment to Iraq. Although I did not know it would be a horrifying experience and 15 agonizing months. It was intense, thrilling and scary. Thinking about this has put Hawaii into a little perspective though. If I could concern this at only 19, while most of my peers were most concerned about getting their older siblings to buy beer why is Hawaii so hard for me?

Finding those feet is all about faith, and the ability to accept that although it isn't what "I" want it is the path I am meant to take...........

"As your faith is strengthened you will find there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit" Emmanuel Teney

Perhaps there is a great deal that goes with this, but there is also a great deal to come out of it. I set out in my marriage to see the world and to make everything I can out of myself. 6 years planted in Kansas is long enough.

Moving To Hawaii

You read the above correctly, As of the end of this month we are Hawaii bound. Well, actually it will be June before we are in Hawaii but come April 30th we turn the keys to this house over to the housing office on Ft. Riley and pack our final things and say goodbye to Kansas. We will be spending May in Ohio (One weekend in Michigan) and then we get going. I'm nervous, this is our first PCS. However I have calmed down a lot since we first got the orders (I sobbed hysterically). We managed to sell Nathan's car (The army will only pay to ship one, we chose the van) and I have been slowly weeding through the things in storage getting rid of baby items we don't need anymore (We are fairly certain we are finished having children) and cleaning.

I have a hard time thinking that tomorrow I turn 25 and I have already done so much. Age 25 and I have two amazing little boys, a husband and will be living in Hawaii soon. I know some people my age who have yet to settle anyplace other than their parents basement so although I still have a list of things to accomplish (College, Running, establishing a career, ect.) I feel that I have accomplished a lot. I may do things a little backwards (Husband, Family then college) but it's my way. It works for me!

Anyhow, It's birthday party season so we have one to attend later today and I need to go make myself presentable.

2012 starting right :)

WOW! It sure has been a long time since I wrote here. I am excited to be back though. I can't wait to share!

Today I want to share my weight loss plan. Although honestly it's more of a lifestyle change than anything because I do not intend to ever come back to this size. I compiled my plan from talking to a personal trainer and nutritionist. I am so excited to get started. Bellow is my 8 week plan. At the end of this 8 weeks I will form a new and more challenging plan. By only planning out 8 weeks I am giving myself short term goals to help me reach my long term goal, which is to loose a total 100 pounds and being able to get rid of my diabetes forever.

After talking to my diatician, we formed a diet plan. I am actually a vegitarian now, something I recently chose to do. So rather than giving me a meal plan or menu she's giving me the freedom to create my own menu. I have been encouraged to use a dry erase board to write down EVERYTHING that enters my body. Included in writing it down I must write down the servings, Calories and Carbs that that item contained. Shes also challenged me to eat no more than 1,500 calories a day (But at least 1,200 or my body wont allow me to burn fat). Also, because I am a diabetic and struggle with my sugars I am to have 3 meals with 30 at or under carbs each, and 3 snacks at or under 15 carbs. I think after pricing things, I am going to consider slim fast for my Breakfast and Lunch options. I haven't made up my mind yet though.

After talking to a personal trainer I have a very in depth fitness plan. I have a running program that I will do Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It's designed to take someone who never runs or hasn't run and transform them into a 5K runner within 8 weeks. On Tuesday, Thursday and Friday I have some strength training exercises that increase in repetition over an 8 weeks cycle. On Sunday he's given me what he calls a "Free Day". Not a day to do nothing but a day that lets me choose. It should be light and fun. Something that keeps me active for 30 minutes but also is relaxing. He suggested Zumba or Yoga. I have the rhythm of a cabbage patch doll so I think I will be doing yoga.

I also talked with my Dr last week about vitamins and healthy weight loss so for my sugar needs and my boys needs I have a list of vitamins I will be using as well. I'm pretty excited about this. I've also encouraged all my girlfriends to join me (If they are trying to loose that is) and anyone local is welcome to come to the gym with me. I plan to turn all the information I gained into a handbook today. If anyone would like that please let me know and I will share!

Wish me luck :) I can't wait!!

I haven't really written in this in awhile, I've been using my old fashioned paper and pen journal more.

We recently moved into a nice house on post. A town home style vs. the apartment style we had before. So far they seem fairly sound proof. I asked/apologized to the neighbors about my hanging things on the walls the other night and they didn't even know I had. So that is a good sign. Much different then hearing every neighbors every move. We have a garage and 2 floors so it seems much bigger than our old house. We did our final walk through in the apartment yesterday and made it through without owing anything. Thank goodness too.

Elijah had surgery, but he was a trooper. I did okay with that. I cried some when they took him back and then when he woke up I could hear him crying through the door and I had some serious Mom anxiety about why they weren't coming to get us yet. Fortunately they did within about 2 minutes. I might have hurt someone otherwise. He bounced back pretty quick, and even within hours of being home he was trying to stand and walk around. He is crazy. His bandage fell off before it was supposed to but the the Dr didn't seem worried, and tonight will be his first bath since.

We had a Dr. appointment for Jonah, and everything looks great so far. Healthy baby boy. The lab on Riley did loose my urine test and my glucose test though. I have to repeat those. Freaking lab!

Elijah is getting closer and closer to what I assume will be walking. He gets on all 4's like he might crawl but then rather than doing that tries to tuck his legs under him and go. I am in trouble now!

Other than that, I've been having a lot on my mind lately so I've been using my other journal since some of it isn't so nice and frankly I don't think it's fair to be judged for emotions or thoughts by people. I think it is a combo of nerves about deployment, stress and hormones but either way it isn't comfortable thinking. I guess it's probably effecting both Nate and I but there isn't much to change that. I will just have to struggle through until he leaves, and then deal with it on my own or he will have to read the pink book because I don't really feel the need to bring it up and chat otherwise.

So there is my update I guess. Not too happening, but it has been done either way.

Well intended advice?

Although I do have a few recipes to add, I have been slacking lately. I have a pretty nasty cold right now so lately it has just been soup. I will post more later but right now I think I am just going to write.

So I've spent allot of time defending my actions to people. From Family, To friends, to little old ladies in the stores. I've defended the way we want to raise Elijah, Why I am a stay at home Mom, What Nate and I are going to do on R&R and why I do so many other things. I've heard everything from "You're a new Mom you don't know" to "We have 6 kids, so trust me" and anything in between. I've had complete strangers advise me, I've had family members question me, and friends correct me. It's frustrating.

This morning I sat down to play with Elijah and something dawned on me. I am so sick of explaining myself. When I was little and I would ask my Mom "Why" I can clearly remember her always telling me "I don't explain myself to you". At the time I obviously hated that answer, but the more I think about it the more I like it. I am Elijah's Mom, and short of Nate, it really isn't anyone's business "Why". I could fill this page with a huge explanation as to why about so many things that have been questioned but honestly why should I? Despite how entitled you feel to give advice, or how wrong you think something is, or how overprotective you think I am being it isn't any persons place to ask us to justify anything. Maybe there is something you did differently and you think I am completely backwards but I honestly don't think that gives anyone any right to comment. I would expect it if we were neglecting Elijah or something worse but he hasn't been neglected a day in his life and he has never gone without. I guess I just feel annoyed when someone whats a justification when he isn't even their son. Despite how much it bothers someone that I follow Dr. instructions, or do something a little out of the books, or go exactly by the books he is my child. I am willing to bet some great money that when whom ever had their children they got pretty annoyed receiving well intended advice/questions pertaining to their parenting.

I am never to proud to ask for help, so I guess it just drives me crazy when people want to just jump on in when I haven't asked. I obviously feel comfortable enough that I haven't asked about anything, so please just let me be.

It is a boy!

Well today was an interesting day. I thought my ultrasound was supposed to be tomorrow. Well not thought, it was supposed to be tomorrow at 1. Today at 11 my phone rang and being that it was an IACH number I figured I should answer. Good thing I did. Turned out that the ultrasound technician I was supposed to see tomorrow had and emergency and would be taking her husband to Wichita tomorrow for ER surgery. She said she could see me at 12:30 today though. Well since Nate was at work I told her I'd have to call her back, and since Elijah couldn't go to that appointment I would need to find a sitter. THANK GOODNESS my friend Heather was able to take him, she was lined up to keep him tomorrow but she was good to go today also. Good thing! Nate was able to get home, and I was able go today.

Almost immediately the ultrasound showed what I had already thought, It is in fact a baby boy. We have made most of our phone calls and texts. I think Nate may have a few more calls, I am not sure. We had a few bumps among our texts and phone calls. A few people who made some seriously snide comments but I have chosen to ignore it, and those people. Time to just move on and be thrilled about our child.

Two recipes to make up for yesterday:

Okay so I forgot about my posting yesterday. Not that it really was anything impressive, We only did cottage cheese and pop corn chicken. We had to go shopping after Nate got home from work. It was late when we got back so I didn't have time to cook. Anyway, I will post the egg salad recipe from today and our refried beans.

So I made egg salad for lunch, Figured it was easy and made great sandwiches.
Egg Salad:
5 hard boiled eggs
1/2 cup mayo
2 teaspoons sugar
1 teaspoon basil
1 teaspoons paprika
3 chopped green onions

Peel and chop the hard boiled eggs, Mix all ingredients together! Yum!

I made Mexican food tonight for Nate, since we'd been busy lately and eating all my favorites (Italian mostly) I figured he deserved his favorite foods. I realized after getting everything out that we didn't have refried beans. So it was too google I had to go. I have to say, I do not normally like these beans but this was so yummy!!

Re-Fried beans/ Semi-homemade style:
3 Tablespoons bacon drippings or Vegtable oil
4 gloves garlic
1 Medium Onion
2 Can pinto beans
3 teaspoon cilantro
1 Teaspoon pepper
2 chopped green onions

Heat oil/drippings and add Garlic and Onions. Saute until very soft. Add Beans, Cilantro, and Pepper. Stir until everything is warm. You can either use a potato masher or in my case a blender (I don't have a potato masher). Blend until texture you like. Garnish with a sprinkle of Cilantro and Pepper and serve!