Dear Army

It's been some time since I wrote in here. Anyone that's had an infant with colic might understand why. Anyhow I guess there are tons of things on my mind. I guess mostly about the "D" word.............. I am 100% panic stricken already. I just remember how quick it slapped us in the face last time. I know it seems insane to be worried already when its only February. I mean NTC is tentatively set for July, and deployment anytime from Oct.-November. I know I have time, and honestly I am not even sad for me right now. I mean I did it last time, it sucked, but I survived. It blows that Elijah is going to miss his Dad on his Birthday and so many other events. I swear if I hear one more person tell me "That's how it goes" or "You knew what you were getting in to" or anything of that nature, or tell me how they did it just fine I will loose my mind. It seems like anyone that you run into says something like that, and I am just plain over it. I don't ask to be worried or sad. I don't WANT to feel like there is an impending doom coming up, and the thought of that and being the physical equivalent of a single Mom almost makes me want to run away from the whole mess. I would love to talk to him about NTC of the next deployment and not feel like I might cry. I would love to make plans for that year and not think twice about about the fact that Nate will miss it. I feel like I can't vent to anyone about it because I get to hear about their last deployment and how they handled it, or how I'm being weak, or I knew what I was doing when I said "I do".

Anyway, Other than that my Grandma is coming to KS on the 27th. Elijah has an appointment on the 23rd. I have a few scattered in there as well.

My Mary Kay website is up and running from what I could tell. That was exciting to me to find out. So everyone can start ordering :)

Cloth Diapers

Elijah spent the whole day in cloth diapers today, and it was nice for both Mommy and him. We bought a type called "Gro Babies". There is a shell, and on the inside of the diaper are two snaps. They have these liners that also have snaps, so you snap them into the liner as you need. You only have to change the shell like every day to 3 days depending on how messy they get and what your baby does, the liner you change every time. They also have these things called "Boosters" that you can place on top of the liner (It dosen't snap though) to add extra absorbancy. You really only need those at night or when you know your baby might be in them for awhile. Normally I use them at night or like today when I went to my appointment. So I bought 5 shells, and a ton of boosters and liners. NICE. I like them so far. The liners have 3 size settings, so they grow with the baby. I think its a wise investment and will be great!!

Elijah is doing so well! He is going to be 6 weeks old tomorrow! Isn't that crazy?! It feels like just yesterday. He rolls over, but really only when HE wants too and not a moment before. WE got his cloth diapers in the mail finally, he is so dainty though that it makes him look weird. His diapers are so bulky, He will grow into them I know, but right now he looks silly. Oh well, its going to be worth it in the end.