I think everyone reading this is well aware that Nathan is going to Iraq, again. That he has just spent the month in NTC training. During that time, Elijah and I came home to Ohio for our visit. Like everything in life, there have been pro's and con's to this trip. Obviously I love being around family, and friends who are helping this time go by quickly (I pick Nate up on Monday already!). I am grateful that Elijah is finally meeting family that he hadn't yet, and I am thrilled to see him thrive in Ohio and to see he doesn't hate it.
I think however, this trip has added to the deployment anxiety, and missing Nate. I know everyone means well, but everyday I go someplace without fail I get asked "Did you talk to Nate today". If I haven't it makes me sad to think about it, when I am not asked all the time, I don't realize he hasn't called. It's easier to press on. Then the conversation immediately turns to deployment. Neither of us (Nate has told me this also) want to talk about it 24/7. I understand that people have general curiosity but it is daily! The information we have doesn't change, and if it did we would let everyone know. Then after the the deployment talk the topic then goes to the new baby, and how Nate is going to miss that. We are aware of that, painfully aware but being reminded all the time doesn't help us at all. I guess I just want to be home and not have to have the above talk daily, Nate doesn't either. We are trying to get through the time prior to the deployment living in the moment, not looking to the upcoming events. I don't know how exactly to tell people that we don't want to talk about it, without it seeming rude. Nate and I spent allot of time talking about this the other night, because it was just getting to me. It is easier to face this thing with a strong mind and tough attitude when you aren't thinking about it 24/7.
The thing that gets the most is when people tell me just how hard having a baby while Nate is gone will be, since I will have a 12 month old. As if we hadn't thought about it before. Sometimes I wonder how much thought is going into statement being made. I'm not saying anything ill about the baby, just that hearing that at least once a day weighs on you also.
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Well, like I said before, while all the above is true, it will be hard, you will fall into a routine that works for you, and that will be that. Dont forget that you have tons of support from those of us who have been there!
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